I, President

Campaign Headquarters

by Lupe Fernandez

I Hereby declare my candidacy for the office of President of the United States. 

My administration will support the Longer Recess, Better Cafeteria Food Initiative. 

If elected I promise to create new cabinet posts: The Department of Conferences, The Department of Critique Groups and The Department of Promotion. 

I will set our foreign policy to promote Children’s Literature across reading-loving countries. The Air Force will drop pictures books into anti-picture book countries. The Navy will sail the seven and a half seas – the melting North Pole counts as half a sea – and leave a book in every port. The Army and Marines will conduct house to house searches of book shelves to make sure they’re stock with the classics. 

Middle Grade Constituent

On the domestic front, my administration will create the No Book Left Behind program. No more remainders, orphans or out-of-print. 

My administration will raise the minimum wage for struggling writers so that they can achieve the Great American Dream – hiring a baby sitter to have time to finish the manuscript. 

The first act of my administration will be to open a Children’s Literature Library in the White House with a café serving milk and cookies, and a nap area. 

But I need your help with the campaign. A strong slogan is needed to communicate to America my narrative of the future.

Examples: 

Read My Book: No New Adjectives

Where’s The Plot?

It’s Page 1 in America

America’s Business is The Publishing Business

Tippecanoe and Illustrations, Too!

I Like Series.

Remember My First Book

Give Me a Cover I Like, or Give Me Death!

Whip Split Infinitives Now!

If you have any slogan suggestions, let us know. This is about you, the Children’s Writers of America.

Patriotic Cookie

This post was paid for by Imaginary Citizens for the Election of The Mexican-In-Residence.