Monday, July 9, 2012

The Branch Office

by Kris Kahrs



As many of our dear Pen and Ink Blog readers have discovered, our co-blogger, friend, chief motivator and writer-of-divine-inspiration, Lupe Fernandez is moving to greener pastures, namely northern California. This does not mean he leaves we other three in the dust. No, dear reader, never fear. With the help of super secret technology, we will persevere on both as Critique Group and bloggers of the locally famous The Pen and Ink Blogspot.

However, we could not bring ourselves to conduct the farewell interview. We were too overcome with sorrow. It was necessary for us to find a professional that would be able to keep the dispassionate distance needed at such an emotional time as this. We needed an interviewer that is sharp, asks the hard questions with a journalistic eye towards a balanced perspective. We called Dan Rather’s number but remembered that he passed on to that big newsroom in the sky just as his agent answered and we muttered something about calling from Domino's pizza and hung up.

That’s when we remembered Sparky. We’ve worked with Sparky before and he has always been a consummate professional. Yes, his manner is a little rough around the edges, but hard-hitting journalism is a little rough. Most important, Sparky has the quality that we look for in an interviewer, he’s persistent, some may even say, ahem, dog-ged and he works cheap. So a few bones tossed in the right direction and we were off. Take it away Sparky.


Lupe: The Gamino Family History of Flight is a YA, suburban fantasy where a high school sophomore, Jose Gamino, has the ability to fly, but it has brought him and his family nothing but tragedy. All Jose wants to do is fall in love with a bright red-head girl. The manuscript includes several vignettes telling the history of flight itself.

I was minding my own business at Writer's Day when they announced my ten page submission placed as an Honorable Mention.





Lupe: The Gamino Family History of Flight placed as a semi-finalist in the 2009 William Wisdom Creative Writing Competition organized by the Pirates Alley Faulkner Society in New Orleans.


Lupe: I'm working on a contemporary comedy manuscript titled I Was a Teenage Lawyer. High school sophomore, Roger Herrera uploads a pornographic video onto his school website to see if anyone recognizes the girl in the video as someone who attends his school. He unknowingly gets Masha Rulin, a girl who resembles the porn actress, suspended from school. Roger decides to defend Masha in the school's student court. But will he tell her the truth?





Lupe: Due to the success of The Pen & Ink Blogspot, the Management has decided to open a foreign branch office in the far north. I will be reporting on SCBWI events in the hinterlands of the San Francisco Bay Area, and writing about any other phenomena that our faithful readers need to know about. Contrary to rumor, this move has nothing to do with the Mysterious Fate of JJ the Hamster, the Great Chocolate Cookie Heist or falling in love and moving in with my girlfriend.


Lupe: Well, Senor Sparky, I recommend less sniffing and more writing. And get thee to a writing critique group. Your experience of chasing your own tail will help you adjust to the Wild, Wild World of Children's Literature. Writing separates the pups from the attack hounds. Don't chew on your sentences. Bite, don't bark at convoluted plotlines. I've heard you're working on a memoir A Dog's Life - I Am Not Spot. You might consider adapting it to a middle grade story. 

I'd like to thank The Pen & Ink Blogspot for allowing me to be their Mexican-In-Residence. It's been a pleasure and a privilege. My new position will be that of Foreign Correspondent. Over and out. 10-4. Adios. 

Our Foreign Correspondent will be appearing this August at the 2012 Summer Conference. Feel free to badger, berate and/or befuddle him.
- The Management

27 comments:

  1. Laughing. Out. Loud. Lupe and Sparky ROCK!!!!! Best to you, Lupe, up in NorCal (my old stomping ground). I look forward to your reporting!

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    Replies
    1. Funny ! I'm Sorry to see Lupe move up North . But Life go's on . Good interview Sparky . KC:-

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    2. KC - Sparky says, "woof, woof". Glad you like it and thanks.

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  2. It's worth Lupe's leaving to read this! Still laughing...Good luck, Lupe, and I hope you take such frivolity north with you!

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    1. Nancy - One thing we know, Lupe is funny, a good writer and a good sport and he keeps us honest... oh, and he gives good critique..and

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    2. ...and he likes fresh baked chocolate chip cookies.
      Sincerely,
      Kooky Monster

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  3. Best of luck on your northern adventures, Lupe!

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    Replies
    1. Oh Megan, our hearts are broke. This will take at least a couple of mojitos and a dozen of Hilde's cookies to get over.. or two dozen...or so. *sniff*

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    2. Sniff, sniff...someone say Hilde's cookies?
      Sincerely,
      Tool House Morsel

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  4. Tammy- Lupe will always be the top dawg.

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  5. As ever, delightful. We in Northern Cal, South of SF, will appreciate having you closer. Best of luck in your new domicile and blessings.

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    Replies
    1. Penelope- We are soooo jealous *steam*

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    2. I will no longer be the Mexican-In-Residence. I'll need a new title.
      Sincerely,
      The Writer Formerly Known as Mexican-In-Residence

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  6. Sparky is SUCH a great interviewer you should put him on staff permanently at Pen and Ink.

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    Replies
    1. I'm being replaced by staff-member who chews on tennis balls.
      Sincerely,
      Wimbledon Racket

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    2. Hi Janet--Both Sparky and Pickles, the ,20 lb. deskcat have applied. We are an EEO employer.

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  7. As much as I laughed, and enjoyed this post, I have to say, this blog has gone to the dogs!

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    Replies
    1. Oh Susan. I'm not giving away any secrets, but just wait and see what The Management has planned for the conference! Hint: It involves animals.

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  8. Replies
    1. Thanks, Amy.

      Sincerely,
      Lupe F.
      Soon To Be Former Mexican-In-Residence

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    2. Amy-- Thanks for reading!

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  9. Your coming home! YAHOO! The BAY welcomes you back!

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    Replies
    1. Dear Anonymous,
      You're welcome.
      Sincerely,
      Anonymous

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  10. What? WHAT? But, but...NO! Lupe, you can't! Who's going to give great hugs at the schmoozes? Who's always going to have a sweet word and a pleasant smile? Why for the love of Drogo, why?????

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    Replies
    1. Sophia,
      The only reason I do anything drastic is for a woman. I'm moving to the Bay Area to live with my girlfriend, Angel.
      Sincerely,
      Love Smitten

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    2. Sophia-- Senor Sparky agrees *woof*.

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    3. I completely figured that - and that's why we love our recovered curmudgeon! Hope you two have a WONDERFUL time and glad you have a great lady :)

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