tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8226553632363517570.post2841381611044029551..comments2024-03-26T11:14:00.710-07:00Comments on The Pen And Ink Blog: What's Wrong With This Query Letter?The Pen and Ink Blogspothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01709195512534318571noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8226553632363517570.post-54250557351975122322011-11-25T10:03:28.514-08:002011-11-25T10:03:28.514-08:00Dear Ms. Fabian,
There is a school of thought abou...Dear Ms. Fabian,<br />There is a school of thought about anger management for writers that employs the "yell at your adjective" primal mutter.<br />Sincerely,<br />Dr. Que WeyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8226553632363517570.post-11208311225540806512011-11-25T08:40:54.139-08:002011-11-25T08:40:54.139-08:00Dear Author,
Please expect the call after 11 AM. ...Dear Author,<br /><br />Please expect the call after 11 AM. Your letter has required that I re-enter therapy (anger management), and afterwards, I will need kickboxing to remove the spare aggression. Incidentally, we will not be discussing your book or contract.<br /><br />Sincerely,<br />Mrs. Mary Tee Chisdale (who married the boy on the lacrosse team 20 years ago and has five children by him.)Karina Fabianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06937791512486438983noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8226553632363517570.post-46514428544070848662011-11-20T10:42:48.066-08:002011-11-20T10:42:48.066-08:00Most amusing!Most amusing!KKahrshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07463390575030438091noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8226553632363517570.post-20129595544018057692011-11-20T07:19:05.731-08:002011-11-20T07:19:05.731-08:00Dear Ms. Edwards,
Exaggerated?
Sincerely,
The Most...Dear Ms. Edwards,<br />Exaggerated?<br />Sincerely,<br />The Most Astonishing Writer Who Ever Lived in This Century or Any CenturyThe Pen and Ink Blogspothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01709195512534318571noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8226553632363517570.post-57063138648418823082011-11-20T07:17:26.589-08:002011-11-20T07:17:26.589-08:00Dear Ms. Cilia,
Well said.
Sincerely,
DittoDear Ms. Cilia,<br />Well said.<br />Sincerely,<br />DittoThe Pen and Ink Blogspothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01709195512534318571noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8226553632363517570.post-81987418986011754992011-11-20T07:04:59.786-08:002011-11-20T07:04:59.786-08:00Dear Lupe,
I laughed and laughed while readin...Dear Lupe,<br /> I laughed and laughed while reading this query and also Tanja Cilia's query. These are great examples to show us in an exaggerated manner the wrong way to write a query. Thank you both for sharing your talents with us.<br /><br />Joan Y. EdwardsJoan Y. Edwardshttp://www.joanyedwards.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8226553632363517570.post-1481179543214368332011-11-20T02:53:45.077-08:002011-11-20T02:53:45.077-08:00To who it matter
Dear all
As the man said, you ain...To who it matter<br />Dear all<br />As the man said, you aint’s seen nothing yet until you read the herewith enclosed, or rather attaché, typescript for a book about the Sceince and Art of Writing, at which I am the expert past master (mistress sounds so crass doncha thing?)<br />As I was saying, you don’t know what’s going to ht you right between them eyes, my man, but when you read my book about the Sceince and Art of Writing, you will have to admit that I am the be-all and end-all of experts in the field of the Sceince and Art of Writing.<br />As you might be saying, this person is a genius, and I want to sign her on the books at once. But before I even consider working with you, you have to tell me in Writing that you are willing to learn the ropes from me because I have been through your web-sight and I have found several typos that could not be misprints they are so silly. So for an additionally fees, I might as well correct your spelling and grammer.<br />As the orturs which I quote in my book say, you never no what you can do till you try and when I beganed Writing the book about the Sceince and Art of Writing, little did I know that I would come up with such a compendiuming of knowledge about the Sceince and Art of Writing.<br />As Dr Spock, of the child expert’s famousness said, not the one with the ears on Star Track, you know, he said you know more than you think you do. In my case this has been proven to be excellently truth because as you can see, I explain the Sceince and Art of Writing so well that nobody can approach me about it.<br />As my relatives and my friends to which I gave the manuscript to read kept repeating, it is a heck of a job to write so much about the Sceince and Art of Writing. Ha ha, I am not an scientist or a Artist but I managed to write 2,340 pages about the Sceince and Art of Writing, can you beat that of course you can’t.<br />As my mentor and consultant and best friend said, and I quoit him to make sure that you understand the worthy of my opera, “If you can get them to accept it for you, you will indeed be one happy bunny.”<br />As my aunty who lives in Malta says, their bunnies are not happy, because they eat them, poor things, they do the spagetti or the chips with them and they are so cute, the rabbits. But that has nothing to do with the Sceince and Art of Writing of course, but I wanted to tell you that I know the culinationary skills of the Malteses because my aunty, when she comed over for a holiday, she thought me how to cook the things of Malta kitches.<br />Yours truthfully<br />Tanja CiliaTanjahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05868159655910235958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8226553632363517570.post-15754315362721540332011-11-19T12:01:18.477-08:002011-11-19T12:01:18.477-08:00Dear Mr. Expert,
Whenever we do a facepalm, we was...Dear Mr. Expert,<br />Whenever we do a facepalm, we wash our hands afterward.<br />Sincerely,<br />FootstepThe Pen and Ink Blogspothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01709195512534318571noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8226553632363517570.post-82610004514242165972011-11-19T11:41:52.463-08:002011-11-19T11:41:52.463-08:00Oh my. This has me doing a /facepalm.Oh my. This has me doing a /facepalm.Michael Offutt, Phantom Readerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10557969104886174930noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8226553632363517570.post-54001797585749632022011-11-14T16:59:26.207-08:002011-11-14T16:59:26.207-08:00Dear Amy,
I think the writer of the Worst Query ev...Dear Amy,<br />I think the writer of the Worst Query ever misspelled the word disguise.<br />Sincerely,<br />Free Range BloggerThe Pen and Ink Blogspothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01709195512534318571noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8226553632363517570.post-59422291384107021352011-11-14T16:15:25.369-08:002011-11-14T16:15:25.369-08:00I love the unicorn in disgust. LOL! Well, I love e...I love the unicorn in disgust. LOL! Well, I love everything about this. Worst query EVER. :)<br /><br />Amy<br />P.S. We always eat free-range wheat in my home, too.A.L. Sonnichsenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11358456786727534289noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8226553632363517570.post-10814035054765343532011-11-14T14:22:10.515-08:002011-11-14T14:22:10.515-08:00Dear Patsy,
We're glad we could be of service....Dear Patsy,<br />We're glad we could be of service. You are correct about chocolate chip cookie etiquette. Don't feed the bears.<br />Sincerely,<br />The ManagementThe Pen and Ink Blogspothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01709195512534318571noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8226553632363517570.post-60848233283482764202011-11-14T11:20:36.511-08:002011-11-14T11:20:36.511-08:00Thanks for the great feedback you just sent about ...Thanks for the great feedback you just sent about my query. Sorry I didn't send any chocolate chip cookies with it, but I'd already heard that's not a good thing to do with query letters!Patsyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12263765378083045973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8226553632363517570.post-51856279126444352972011-11-13T13:27:35.198-08:002011-11-13T13:27:35.198-08:00At least the writer of the sample query letter did...At least the writer of the sample query letter didn't follow an agent into the restroom. Holy Inappropriate, Batman!<br />Sincerely,<br />Quizzical QueryThe Pen and Ink Blogspothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01709195512534318571noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8226553632363517570.post-4064130922517670122011-11-13T11:41:11.099-08:002011-11-13T11:41:11.099-08:00I always hated Mary Tee - I mean Mandy Todd - too...I always hated Mary Tee - I mean Mandy Todd - too!Megan Frances Abrahamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02259684930983493989noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8226553632363517570.post-44188813352649016252011-11-12T14:10:25.431-08:002011-11-12T14:10:25.431-08:00Dear Ms. Patsy,
Our Cookie-Taster-In-Residence agr...Dear Ms. Patsy,<br />Our Cookie-Taster-In-Residence agrees, though he prefers Ms. Fields' Chocolate Chip Cookies. In fact, he's quite a nutty about them.<br />Sincerely,<br />The ManagementThe Pen and Ink Blogspothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01709195512534318571noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8226553632363517570.post-89825278584009081122011-11-12T12:51:42.742-08:002011-11-12T12:51:42.742-08:00Oatmeal cookies made with wheat? That just isn'...Oatmeal cookies made with wheat? That just isn't right!Patsyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12263765378083045973noreply@blogger.com