Confessions of a Derailed Blogger

by Hilde Garcia

January 27, 2010

Things to do, laundry, dishes, bills, write my blog. I will get to my blog tonight.

“Mommy!” My son yells. I break up an argument between my twins. There’s a knock on the door. Now what? My neighbor brings back my dog, Buddy.

“Thanks.” I didn’t even know he was missing. Oh crap, the pasta is boiling over! Saved the pasta! It is cooling. I sit at my desk. Five minutes. Let me start my blog.

“AHHHHHH.” I hear a loud crash and a scream. My daughter has fallen off of the chair. Do I dare ask what happen?

“Victoria try to fly, mommy.” Well, that answers that. Ice pack on boo-boo.

January 28, 2010

Finally, laundry is done, dishes are done, kids and hubby are sleeping. I am not too tired. I sit down to write. This is so exciting.

“Mommy.” I hear a whimper. I ignore it. It gets louder. I stand very still. Oh please, just go back to bed. You never wake up, why now? I find myself pleading to the air.

“MOMMY, my ear, help me!” I go to the bathroom. My son is screaming, holding his ear and crying. My son never cries, not even when he got three stitches on his chin when he was one and not even when he knocked out his front tooth when he was three.

Doctor Mom knows this is one of those bad ear infections that needs an ER visit for the right combination of drugs that will calm him down and shut him up so he can go back to sleep.

I take him to the ER. I figure, an hour tops, in and out. WRONG. Three hours later, drugs in child, child sleeping, very tired me at my computer.

January 29, 2010

“Honey?” I feel a hand on my shoulder. I open my eyes and wipe the drool on my desk. I see my document before me- six pages of the letters SHSHSHS. My face has bumps on it. I look in the mirror. The keyboard indents my right cheek.

January 31, 2010

I haven’t written in days. I feel like a loser, but I have such a good idea for a blog post… if I could only find a moment to sit down at the computer for five minutes.

February 1, 2010

I have to get the birthday Thank You cards in the mail, finish the digital calendar for the family before the year is over, bake a cake for hubby’s birthday tomorrow and the laundry is back on my bed. If I don’t fold it, I’ll just end up sleeping on the couch.

Who am I kidding? This blog post is not going to happen today.

February 2, 2010

“Honey, I have to work late,” says hubby. Great. I’m on duty all day and I have to pull overtime with no pay. I’m too tired for the whole bath time routine.

“Ok, kids, time for bed.” I grumble.

“What about our bath?” My daughter asks. Seriously?

“You look clean enough to me.” I say. I mean, who is going to know?

“What about story?” My son asks. Not tonight, kiddo.

“Daddy will read you two tomorrow.” Music, lights off, kiss, bye. I am outta there.

FINALLY TIME TO WRITE.

Instead I get an email from the preschool telling me about a disgruntled parent’s issue.

Now what?

I have to deal with it because someone decided to leave me in charge of the school.

My brain is going to explode.

The board meeting is tomorrow. I have paperwork to prepare. Tonight is my night to write. Instead I’m mad, so I clean the house, do the laundry and detail the bathroom.

February 3, 2010

Morning. My eyes are raw from lack of sleep. I deal with the school situation, then deal with the new families who wonder what is happening. I then chair a board meeting. I then drink a glass of wine and take a Claritin D and go to bed and sleep- finally, after 36 hours.

I will write tomorrow, now that everything and everyone is on track.

February 4, 2010

I wake up at 3:30am, screaming,, internally of course, only crying on the outside. I hold my ear. I’m doubled over with pain. There is no justice. An hour later, I’m in the ER. No sleep yet, just lots of drugs. Childbirth wasn’t this painful. I have an ear infection on my eardrum, which is about to rupture. Go figure.

I sleep for 24 hours. I’m in a cloud. The laundry piles up, the dishes join the laundry, and the dog ate his bed. My kids have wrecked the house. There is no writing for me today. But neither will there be any housework.

I’m on strike. I lie in bed and stare at the ceiling and dream of things to be written.

February 5, 2010

Desk clean. House clean. Laundry done. Bathroom doesn’t smell like pee. Kids are at school. Hubby is at work. Roommate, who lives in the garage, is on three errands. Dogs are taking a nap. No noise, no paperwork on my desk. Thank You cards and paperwork for school done. Critique group meets tonight. I have my blog post, Confessions of a Derailed blogger. I might even have time to revise my chapter.

What would happen if I don’t show up at school to pick up the kids? Would they wait for me? Should I wait for them to call and say I forgot to show up? Would my kids hold it against me that I forgot to pick them up? I mean they are only 5.

I’m writing. Do I really want to get up from my desk and go anywhere? No. I am afraid I won’t find my way back to my computer.

But I have to go and pick up the kids and dog food and make something for dinner and I should start another load so it is done when I return and oh brother, here I go again.

NOT!

February 7, 2010

I’m back on track and here’s my blog.