What's Your Take on the Word "SAID"?

by Susan Berger

Do a search for “said-bookism.” That’s the term of substituting other words for said.

This post is mostly for people who write in the third person voice. 

(There are still some of you out there, right?)

The conventional wisdom tells writers that the word “said” is invisible to reader.

I was taught “said” is best.  Here are three quotes on the subject.

Orson Scott Card:

"Unfortunately, an astonishing number of elementary and secondary school teachers, utterly ignorant of good style, instruct their poor students to avoid overusing said. As a result, these poor students think that it's good -- even necessary -- to indulge in "said-book-ism," where the word said is always either replaced or accompanied by an adverb. Nothing is ever simply tagged; it's always replied, whispered, shouted, uttered, remarked, commented, intoned, murmured, wondered, laughed, hissed, muttered; or said bleakly, happily, merrily, snidely, nastily, angrily, loudly, softly, in astonishment, under his breath, with a smile, or ... well, you get the idea. Quite apart from the hilarity that arises from inadvertent Tom Swifties -- "I'm afraid we'll have to amputate," said the surgeon disarmingly -- it is this variety that becomes repetitive and annoying. That's because the reader is constantly being distracted from the dialogue and forced to examine meaningless, uninteresting tags.  Here is a link to the original lesson 

Kay Dacus: Debunking Writing Myths

When I was in graduate school it was explained this way: readers see “said” or “asked” much like a period or comma.  It’s more like punctuation than anything else, therefore those are unobtrusive.

However, as a reader and editor—and as someone who listens to audio books more than I read actual physical books—I can attest to the fact that “said” dialogue tags get very old very fast if those are the only way the author attributes the dialogue in his/her book.  

Just as we want to look for ways to make our writing stronger when it comes to verb or adverb use, we want to make sure we’re not overusing any words, and that includes the words said and asked, even as dialogue tags.  And the best way to do that is with action and/or introspection laced in with the dialogue.   Here's a Link to the post

                                                                                       
Elmore Leonard:        

3. Never use a verb other than “said” to carry dialogue.

The line of dialogue belongs to the character; the verb is the writer sticking his nose in. But said is far less intrusive than grumbled, gasped, cautioned, lied. I once noticed Mary McCarthy ending a line of dialogue with “she asseverated,” and had to stop reading to get the dictionary.

4. Never use an adverb to modify the verb “said” . . .

. . . he admonished gravely. To use an adverb this way (or almost any way) is a mortal sin. The writer is now exposing himself in earnest, using a word that distracts and can interrupt the rhythm of the exchange. I have a character in one of my books tell how she used to write historical romances “full of rape and adverbs.”

Here's a link to that post 

That being said (could not resist that one,) a lot of very good writers today are using substitutes for “said”. You don’t have to believe me. Page through some of your favorite books and look for yourself.

For your edification, here is a link to a list of substitutes for “said.”

Please read through them. (you can also download or print the list)

Please comment. Are you Pro “said” or Con “said”?

Can you add to the list?

Quacky Baseball -- Blog Tour Day 5

In conversation with Peter Abrahams

by Hilde Garcia

Peter Abrahams has written 25 novels for adults and children. The first book in his Echo Falls series, Down the Rabbit Hole, won the 2006 Agatha for Best Children’s Young Adult Fiction. His upcoming middle grade suspense novel with a bit of paranormal, Robbie Forester and the Outlaws of Sherwood Street, will be released next January. Peter’s YA thriller, Reality Check, won the 2010 Edgar Award for Best Young Adult Novel. His newest YA thriller, Bullet Point, was released in April of 2010. As Spencer Quinn, he's also the author of the Chet and Bernie Mysteries. Written from the point of view of Chet, a dog, they are fabulous stories from a fresh perspective. Quacky Baseball marks his first hit in the picture book game.

I know you covered this in the piece you wrote on the evolution of Quacky Baseball for Corey Schwartz's blog, but what the heck! Peter, the $64,000 question, why a picture book? And why about baseball? That’s a double of a question!

A double question to which there’s no satisfying answer. The truth is the idea – picture book about baseball, all participants ducks – just popped into my head. I believe at the time I was in the middle of writing Behind the Curtain, second in the Echo Falls series.

What was the most significant difference for you in creating the picture book text vs. one of your YA or MG stories?

Well, as for text, there isn’t much, for the same reason a screenplay adaptation of a novel is shorter than the novel itself: we’ve got pictures to carry the story-telling burden! Bonus: I didn’t have to make the pictures myself! 

Was your picture book text longer when you began the process? 

No. It was about the same, although some bits were edited out and other bits inserted. I’ve always been a minimalist when it comes to prose. I’m a maximumist when it comes to some other things, such as sleep and breakfast.

So, Thumby can’t stop sucking his thumb, but he manages to do so for the game- winning catch and then for the spectacular bottom of the ninth homerun! Isn’t that too much pressure for the rookie?

Lots of pressure, but thumbsucking helps him handle it, kind of like self-medication. Maybe the world would be a better place if adult thumbsucking were in vogue. And, more likely, maybe not. 

And then you give the tip, “Keep your eye on the ball,” but Thumby hits the final smack of the game with his eyes closed! Was it a lucky smack or the skill of a duck from the wrong side of the marsh? 

There’s always the inexplicable and the unforeseen in baseball, part of what makes it great. I got into this in a much darker way in a book I wrote some years ago called The Fan. 

I coach T-Ball. This book is a wonderful introduction to the game. I can’t wait to read it to my team at our next practice. Did you envision Quacky Baseball becoming a teaching aid for coaches of the littlest ducks in the league?

I wrote it for entertainment purposes, pure and simple, but it’s important that the baseball be accurate. A very nice thing that came my way after publication of The Fan was a letter from Buzzie Bavasi, longtime Dodgers GM, thanking me for getting the baseball right. 

How did the collaboration with an illustrator affect or enhance your writing of this picture book? After your submitted your text, what level of input were your afforded, if any, with the illustrator? I mean, can you have two coaches on the field? 

The collaboration was a three-step process. I wrote the initial text. Frank made accompanying sketches. I made some textual changes to better match the art. Plenty of room for two coaches – plus the editor and art director are also on the field. 

Was it your idea to include the scoreboard throughout the story? Were the tips you include in the book part of your original picture book text? And why start at the bottom of the ninth? Why not at the beginning when Thumby isn’t doing well or maybe how he got on the team? 

Scoreboard: yes
Tips: yes
Bottom of the ninth: that was where the drama was. In a form this short there wasn’t room for anything else.

Ok, I’m now in love with Chet the Dog, (just visited your site). He’s so smart and sassy. I can’t believe he also speaks German. How many of your works are translated in other languages? Do you see Quacky Baseball having the same trek? Baseball is an all-American sport, so how effective can a translation be for a country that might not even play baseball?

I believe the Chet and Bernie novels are in 18 or 19 languages now. One important thing about Chet: he doesn’t talk. He has no non-dog powers. But all dog people know that a dog has some sort of life-narrative going on internally, and that’s what’s on the page in the Chet and Bernie books (Number 4, The Dog Who Knew Too Much, comes out in September). Baseball does well in Japan and in certain parts of the Spanish-speaking world. 

Do you find it easy to write for any voice? You have Chet the Dog and Thumby, the Webbies' secret weapon, but then there’s also Ingrid, a girl. Gasp! And you seamlessly go from one age group to the other from the youngest reader to those of us on the older side. Come on, confess, do you have a super power?

Unsatisfying answer # 2: I never think about this at all.

I noticed the book cover for Quacky Baseball says “ages 3-8.” Why is that there? Was it the editor’s idea? I don’t usually notice the age range listed on the book cover and this book has a timeless quality whether you are 3, 8 or 38. I read it and enjoyed it. Why not put 3 to infinity? 

You’re right. I like 3 to infinity better.

Now that you dove into the pond of picture books and hit one out of the park, do you see yourself continuing this season in the picture book game? If so, will Thumby make it to the World Series and follow the fate of Casey at the Bat? Or will he remember to keep his eye on the ball and swing, swing, swing?! (Unlike mighty Casey who didn’t swing at the first two pitches). 

I actually do have another picture book idea, but right now I’m pretty busy with Chet and Bernie, and also the new Robbie Forester middle-grade series.

I want to thank Peter Abrahams for this fabulous seventh-inning stretch of an interview, giving us a behind the scenes look at a fuzzy player that we are going to love for a long, long time. 

My pleasure!

--------------
Check out Peter’s works, from every ballpark you can think of YA, MG, adult, at - www.peterabrahams.com and www.chetthedog.com

Please visit the other stops on the Quacky Baseball tour: 

• Monday, March 28 - Megan Frances Abrahams - On Beyond Words & Pictures - interview with Kristin Daly Rens, Senior Editor, Balzer & Bray
• Tuesday, March 29 - Julie Musil Julie Musil - interview with Thumby Duckling - the main character - via author Peter Abrahams 
• Wednesday, March 30 - Corey Schwartz - Thing 1 and Thing 2 - author Peter Abrahams on the genesis of Quacky Baseball 
• Thursday, March 31 - Diane Browning - Out of the Paintbox - interview with illustrator Frank Morrison
• Saturday, April 2 - Lori Walker L.H. Walker - book review/synopsis with input from Lori's children

Comment on this blog (see upper right column) -- or on any blog along the tour -- and you could win a signed copy of the book!

Ode To Hayward Public Library, Hayward, CA

by Lupe Fernandez

My father used to drive me and my older brother to the library. He would sit in this 1960 white Chevolet Impala, drinking Hamns and reading his crime tabloid. My brother and I would go into the library and head for the children's section with all kinds of cool books. Some titles I remember. Some I can't.

My favorites were The Lost Uranium Mine* by Bamman Whithead and a picture book about the Mariner space probe missions to Venus and Mars. I've never been able to locate that book again. My brother would read the Matthew Looney series. There was a shelf devoted to ghost and mystery stores, like The Thing at the Foot of the Bed* by Maria Leach.

My brother often found an illustration book on the history of flight. I can't remember the title. We sat a reading table. I recall looking over my brother's shoulder - "Don't crowd me," he would push me - and following the progress from 18-19th century balloons, elegant single-engine planes, bi-planes, WWI planes, jet fighters to Apollo spacecraft.

Favorite books in hand, my brother and I check them out with are library cards, orange paper inside a plastic sleeve. The librarian behind a counter would take our library cards, the white index cards from inside the book cover and pass them into a mysterious humming, clicking machine. The cards went into one slot and out another.

We went outside, and if we didn't see the white Impala parked at the curb, we waited by the circular water fountain. The lights in the fountain illuminated the water shooting of the small pipes in the concrete basin. I searched for quarters among the change on the fountain bottom, wondering if I would get into trouble for snatching the money. Or we run around the trees on the library grounds to pass the time. All the time inhaling the intoxicating smell of hot dogs from the Doggy Diner across the street. 

We knew our father was at the local magazine store to get another police crime tabloid and would return shortly. He kept us on a short leash.

I always checked out a book, but my brother didn't. My father would yell at my brother for not checking out a book. I felt sorry for my brother. It wasn't that he didn't like reading; my father unfairly compared my voracious reading habits with him.

Unwritten Family Rule: Children Cannot Leave Library Without Book

However, my mother had her own judgment.

"What did you get?" she asked me.

I showed her my favorite picture book about the Mariner 2 space probe to Venus. She was displeased. "Why do you always get the same book?" I supposed she wanted me to expand my literary tastes.

Children s Section

Doggy Diner is gone, but trees still shadow the library grounds. Books line the shelves. Children still go. Too bad about the fountain. I miss snap of catalog cards, the sound of index drawers slamming shut.
 

I'll know I've hit the big time in children's literature when I get to speak at the Hayward Public Library.

*I'll be reviewing of these books in a future post.

Cecil CastellucciIn Conversation with Pen & Ink

According to the divine miss pixie woods, Cecil Castellucci is an author and artiste. She has written Boy Proof, The Queen of Cool, Beige, Rose Sees Red, the graphic novels The Plain Janes and Janes in Love and the picture book, Grandma’s Gloves.

Did Minx approach you for a graphic novel project?

Yes. DC Comics was launching the Minx line which they hoped would be a line for YA comics for girls. Shelly Bond, the editor who was launching the line, was looking for a YA author who might be interested in writing a graphic novel. They approached Rachel Cohn, who said no, but she passed Shelly my name since Boy Proof was about a girl who loves sci fi and comic books. As a matter of fact, Egg in Boy Proof reads a lot of Vertigo/DC comics, so it ended up being perfect. Shelly called me and asked if I would be interested and I said, "Yes! Yes! Yes!"

What quality or qualities do you attribute to your prolific artistic output, i.e. music, art, film, writing?

I like projects and I like to finish them and get them out there so that i can move onto the next one. I think basically that is it.

Is there a creative media that you want to explore, but haven’t?

Well, I always wanted to be some kind of visual artist, but I'm not. Can't draw. I always thought I would like to do conceptual art. And I just started a conceptual art project in January that I'll be doing for all of 2011. It’s called the Literary Diaspora (http://www.literarydiaspora.com ) Other than that, perhaps figure skating. But as it stands now, I'll likely never do that and if I did I would break my butt.

What is your daily work schedule like? Do you work on multi projects in different mediums or stick with one or two projects?

I work on multiple projects at a time. And for me, the medium- no matter what the project is- is always the same. Story telling. And the truth is projects are always at different stages and need different kinds of care and feeding. One will be a baby. One will be going out into the world. One will just need to be reminded it's pretty every once in a while.

The Punk playlist. I often hear editors/authors at conferences tell writers to avoid references of contemporary music. By the time the book is published, so the argument goes, the cultural meaning of the music will be lost on the YA reader. Was this ever a concern for you or the publisher? (This interviewer thought punk was a late 70’s, early 80’s phenomena? Also, this interviewer is much like Beige with non-existent contemporary musical tastes.)

I never had any issue, nor did my publisher, about the punk playlist in Beige. The book is a contemporary punk book. And the thing about punk is that punk is whatever you decide is punk. If you notice, in the book, Garth Skater gives Katy-Beige a mix CD. It's a punk primer. Just songs that get the blood moving and that many people agree is punk. The songs on that CD are what make up the chapter headings. To prove a point that punk is what you want it to be, when the book came out I asked people I knew to give me their top ten punk songs over at IS BEIGE PUNK? http://isbeigepunk.blogspot.com/ as you can see, the answers are very, very different. 

Reading your novels, this interviewer is reminded that teens struggle with self-expression. The arts appear to be a healthy outlet. Yet the arts are often the first to go in school budget cuts. What’s up with that?

Yeah. That is messed up. Let me tell you, if you cut art from schools you are suffocating good education. Education works when it’s a whole experience. Arts education helps enrich and enhance performance in all other subjects. It's already scientifically proven that music helps math. Ah! It's so annoying when people think that they can save money by cutting the arts! It will save money by keeping the arts in schools! Anyway, yes, I do believe with all of my heart that Art Saves. It saves the world. It saves us. It is what makes us human.

---

Pen & Ink would like to thank Cecil for this interview. We urge our faithful readers to run, don’t walk… to your local book purveyor, like Skylight Books, and buy anything by Ms. Castellucci.

Revision

by Hilde Garcia
The worst part, my process, my visions of grandeur.

A friend called me eighteen years ago and said, “I have a proposition for you.  You write a book, I’ll illustrate it, we’ll split the profits 50/50.”  I said, “Sure,” and banged out a picture book draft that night.  I called her back the next day and said, “Hey instead of dealing with more rejection (I was an actor at the time), how about we start our own bilingual publishing company?”  SO, we did.  It was called Caliente Publishing.  My unrevised, unedited, under-illustrated manuscript was our first acquisition.  And we had one teeny, tiny problem, no money.  SO much for that road.  Thank goodness.

Now what?  What to do next?  Well, I put it in the drawer and fifteen years went by. 

“Hey, have you heard of SCBWI?” I tell this friend three years ago.  “I’m gonna take our book and see if I can get it published.  I mean, it’s already illustrated and that’s half the battle.”  And her reply was, “Awesome.”  You never know, right?

Wrong.  Oh so wrong. 

I bring my beautifully illustrated ms to the conference in LA and the first Keynote speaker’s words of wisdom are- “If you are not an artist, don’t illustrate your own book.”  Well, I made sure not to show that draft to anyone.  Then I had it reviewed by a professional critiquer. I was sure this person would love to see my finished draft.

I had paid for a thirty minute consultation.  That took about ninety seconds for her to say, no way José.  The rest was going to be silence. Deadly, silence.

“So do you have anything else?”  The critiquer asks me.  “Yes” I say, on auto pilot.

In the world of acting, you always have an extra song, monologue, or comedy routine planned, in case they don’t like your first stuff.  SO I say yes.

Jane Yolen

I only had a title.  What do I have to loose?  After a fun 28.5 minutes of discussion, the person says to me, “If you write that story, I want to read it.”  Ok, well, then let me write it. How hard can this be?

Six months later, I have a draft.  I think it is fabulous.  It made me cry.  I ask my husband to read it.  It makes him cry, but not for the same reason.  SO I get it, it’s a lousy first draft, but I have no clue what to do next.

“Revision.”  What the heck is revision?  Jane Yolen says it is to see your MS with new eyes again.  But what am I seeing?

Lisa Yee

I’m sitting in a workshop with Lisa Yee and she’s telling us all about revision.  And I only have one question, “How do I know that the word I am changing or deleting isn’t supposed to stay in?”  What if I chop out a good part, an award winning sentence?

She says, “If it is supposed to be in the book it will be, even when you revise.”  HUH?  SO I begin trying to fix the draft.  Hubby tries to help, and it almost cost us the marriage- note to self: hubby is not a good person to have as critique partner in most cases, stick with a stranger).

I go at it alone for six months.  Everyone says to me, you need a critique group.  Yeah, ok, but where do you shop for one?  And once you have them, what do you do with them?  Do you feed them? (Apparently, yes you do with cookies.)

Then I form a group, quite serendipitously, since I have never done it before and they were and are my saving grace.  With their careful help, we took the draft apart and one year later, (18 months to the day I finished the first awful original draft), I have a draft that is ready to send to an agent. 

Which I do.

And the agent loves it, but she wants to see another revision.  “No problem,” I say. 

A long way from “Huh?”

I bang this one out in three months, from start to finish.  No longer was I worried about what I was chopping.  I was excited about the stuff that was flourishing as a result.  Of course, I forgot what my kids looked like, (thank goodness for the 35 hours of public school which provided me time to write so I could still play with my kids after school).

And here I am, 3.5 years from the pitch of a title and idea to a finished MS with an agent and which has undergone several revisions.  I have seen it all new and it’s a great view. 

And the job at hand now?  To revise and deepen one main character.

Piece of revision cake.

Author Event at Flintridge Books Pen And Ink Was There!

Last Sunday, bookstore owner extraordinaire, Catherine Linka, invited 11 authors to a Mother/Daughter/ Authors Book party at Flintridge Bookstore; the event was co-sponsored by LA Parent Magazine.

C. Linka with S. Berger

 The stellar roll call:

Gayle Brandeis -My Life With The Lincolns

Carolyn Hennesy- Pandora Series 

Carol Hughes - The Princess and the Unicorn

Kathleen O'Dell - Agnes Parker Series

Naomi Hirahara - 1001 Cranes

Randi Barrow - Saving Zasha

Sherri Smith - Flygirl

Amy Goldman Koss – The Girls

Margaret Stohl - Beautiful Creatures

 

Morgan Matson - Amy & Roger's Epic Detour

Cecil Castelucci - Beige

The authors met and spoke with 3rd through 9th grade girls and their mothers. The girls were rotated from table to table so that everyone had a change to speak with all the authors.

Pen & Ink spoke to the authors, asking the questions that only Pen & Ink dares to ask. Stay tuned to this blog as Pen & Ink will feature exciting interviews with the authors.

So RUN! Don't walk to Flintridge Bookstore and buy these books.

Also see Out of the Paintbox for more exciting coverage 

My Literary Romance

by Kris Kahrs

I’m currently entertaining the idea, among hundreds of other notions that take up regular residence in my brain, of attempting a Romance novel. I wonder if my WIP picture book was my Vampire boyfriend and the Romance MS was my Werewolf best friend, would my PB be insanely jealous of all the time I was spending on the new Romance MS?

Would the other PB vampires resent me for endangering their publications chances as I spend less time submitting in favor of my new fascination with the Romance MS?

My PB feels so cold to me now. I’ve worked on it for six months or more and the pages are cool to my touch. Since the PB was submitted, I’ve been alone. It has been seeing Publishers, being held in their hands and read in their beds. I’ve been sitting at my laptop waiting… for something to happen. Then the hot Romance MS shows up and everything’s new and exciting again. The Romance MS sends delicious shivers up and down my spine as I come up with the perfect scene and gasp, “yes, this is it”.

I’m afraid I’ve alienated everyone in my life because of my obsession with the Romance MS. I can’t seem to think of anything else. It’s always on my mind. I’m constantly thinking of ways to tighten the structure, to massage the limp narrative into the best shape of its life. I’m pretty sure my husband and son and desk cat have had enough of my single-mindedness. My Critique Group, not big fans of the genre, patiently tolerate my infatuation as I carry on about how chiseled the MS story arc is or if there will be a series in the future because once is never enough. The group wants to know what happened to my old PB love, they liked that one.

Suddenly, my PB gets picked up for publication!* I’ve forgotten how sexy my PB is until I see it in a contract. Well, hey there sailor. My interest is vibrantly renewed and we are together again everywhere. We are signing papers, revising for editors, meeting with illustrators, planning speaking trips to libraries, writing groups and schools. I’m breathless with excitement, until my editor asks, “So, what else do you have?”

I stop, cringe and whisper when my PB isn’t paying attention, “Uh, I have a Romance MS, I’ve been working on.”

*Author’s note: Please people, this is a work of fiction after all.

How I Made My Kids Readers

by Hilde Garcia

I bribed them… in utero. Well, maybe it wasn’t so much a bribe as exposure. I mean they were kind of captive, right? Supposedly kids can hear you at about five months during gestation, so I began reading to them the moment I found out I was pregnant. I know, I’m a little nuts. But to me, reading was an escape, an adventure, a thrill, something I cherished. I couldn’t take a chance that my kids would turn out to be … gasp…. Non-readers- ahhhh! Yep, no way, so I figured, “What do I have to lose?”

By the time I gave birth, I had read all the Anne of Green Gables Series- Books 1-8, all of Harry Potter books (only up to Book 4 at that time), the entire Chronicles of Narnia series, as well as Oh, The Places You’ll Go, Goodnight Moon, and several other classics including Mark Twain.

I was taking no chances and read them out loud right to my belly. I know, seriously twisted. But then again, when you’re on bed rest with twins and bored out of your mind, all bets are off on sanity.

Then it was time to go and meet the dynamic duo, whom we fondly referred to as Alien and Predator. I packed the following in my hospital bag: Mem Fox’s Time for Bed; Goodnight Moon and Oh, The Places You’ll Go! Yep. I read them all three nights. I cried every time I read Dr. Seuss (and I still do). The nurses smiled; maybe they thought my bedtime reading routine wouldn’t last. But it did.

My husband and I bathed our twins every night, put their jammies on after their bath, combed the three hairs on their heads and then read to them. We taught our ritual everyone that came into our world. We had songs and dances for our Sandra Boynton favorites like Hippos Go Berserk and Snuggle Puppy. We have loads of photos with family and friends all reading to our kids and loving every minute.

We read to our kids before nap and after preschool, in the sun and sometimes...just because. There is always time for reading. There is always access to books. NO electronics in our car, just a bunch of books and paper should inspiration strike. My daughter has already written two best sellers in the preschool world and I edited them for her.



Sam



Victoria

Now my kids are six and in Kindergarten. Are they readers? You bet your library card. Is it because of mommy’s crazy tactic? I’d like to think so. Or maybe they are genetically wired to read. Who knows? They read and write in two languages. Soon a third- Hebrew.

Victoria & Sam

They love books, libraries, book stores, book mobiles and words. They love to tell stories and draw them and write them down. They know which way to hold up a book, a skill mastered when they were one. They are amazing and avid readers and I marvel at the places they will go.

The All Sex Blog

by

Lupe Fernandez

The Tease

The story idea flashes a little scene, just enough to get the heart thumping. Bits of alluring dialog speak. A mood clouds the mind. Maybe yes. Maybe no. Will the story idea put out? Or slam the door on the way out? So many questions, not enough time to answer. Must act quickly. Other suitors on the way. Spend time and energy on this story, this possibility, this wisp of a narrative? 

Foreplay

Sit before the page. Sound out the story’s preferences. Have a little drink. Something to eat. Talk about the weather. The décor. Admire the scenery. Opps, did the story mean to reveal that much. Get a sense of how this will end? Oh yeah.

Position

Try something conservative at first. The first person position. Always a favorite. Don’t get bored. Try third person personal. Feeling dominant? Third person omniscient. Too removed. Try something kinky like second person present tense. Whoa…back it up cowboy. Practice safe serializing. Back up work.

Climax

Mellow. Yeah. End with something to think about. Too sleepy? How about abrupt? Boom. The end. Leave them wanting more. Unsatisfactory. That’s it? That’s all? What happened? It’s the reader. No, it’s the story. Happens to the best. Too many questions unanswered. Will the story call back in the morning? Luxuriate. Ready for the sequel or a trilogy…yeah a threesome…and the movie version.

Afterwards

Still think about the story the next day…hmmm… Linger on the vivid imagery, the sensory detail, favorite pages and characters. All those secrets. Okay, maybe one of them bored. Wait. Did the story really say that? Or is it wishful thinking? Perhaps another try. Forgotten already. Another draft? Maybe another story. Oh yeah, there’s this place where they hang out. It’s not an addiction. Just say no.

Fetishes

Swim to inspire. Sharpen No. 2 pencils. Clean house. Role-play author book signing. Sort book shelf based on Dewey Decimal System.

Porn

Go to the library. Browse a book store. Read without buying. Smell the pages. Write speech for imaginary Newberry award.

Abstinence

Watch TV.

So be safe.