A Random Poll

Not Kris Kahrs

by Kris Kahrs

While The Pen and Ink Blog crew (otherwise known as the Inkies) were screwing around attending the SCBWI summer conference, we managed to take an informal poll of conference impressions sorted by kidlit genre.  Here are the results we came up with and by 'we' I mean Pickles the 20 lb. desk cat who performed all of the necessary collating of results here.

Question posed:  How did you enjoy the SCBWI Summer Conference?

Young Adult Writers said:  "Not enough vampires."

Tween Writers said:   "Ith wath sthupendous."

Middle Grade Writers said:  "I won't eat chicken and you can't make me."

The Picture Book Writers said: "One book, two book, red book, blue book.  This one has a little star, this one has a little car.  Hey!  What a lot of books there are!"

Chapter Book Writers said:  "Oh, yes, and at the party on Saturday night, I ran into Andrea Welch of Beachlane and she said, 'Sure, I'll read your..."

Urban Writers said: "Yo, Dawg, I was feelin' it.  Just like back in the day."

Contemporary Writers said: "Dude, we freaked."

Dystopian Writers said: "The Conference was like another world."

Romance Writers said: *sigh* "We could not have asked for more moving speakers who spoke with such palpable feeling that we were left utterly devoid of any energy to protect ourselves from the ravishment of our emotions *gasp*."

Fantasy Writers said: "The whole conference had an ethereal feel as if the spirit of all the writing fairies were there, sprinkling all of us with publishing dust."

The Quiet book Writers said: "wow".

There you have it folks.  A fair and balanced perspective of the SCBWI conference.  Now, don't you wish you had gone?

Happy Anniversary SCBWI Conference 2011

Our Headquarters

by Hilde Garcia

The Pen and Ink Blogspot celebrates the 40th Anniversary of the SCBWI Conference. And how do we do this? I’m glad you asked. We, being crazy and creative people, will be visible this Saturday night. 

Our collective hive mind- yes, kind of like the Borg- came up with an idea for Saturday night’s party, but we aren’t going to tell you what that idea is. You’ll have to find us at the party and see for yourselves.

But when you do find us Inkies, it will be worth the journey across the patio, because we will have SWAG for you. It won’t be fancy, but it will be unique.

We had fun creating the SWAG.

SWAG Workshop

Back at Hilde’s Hacienda, The Pen and Ink Blogspot’s fearless foursome decided to make a splash as a group. HMMM… but what to do? Our Mexican-In-Residence grumbled and said, “That’s too hard. It’ll never work.” However, we quickly came up with a concept and I put it into motion.

First, we called in an outside consultant and photographer to help with our project. I can’t tell you what they did exactly, but it involved four robes, lots of paper and a master bed.

Then we consulted our silent Pen and Ink member, who shall remain nameless until Saturday, and he or she helped us with the next part of the concept.

Finally, I came in and did all things research. Despite Mr. MIR’s doubts, I secured all the important items just in time for our fun evening to come.

So, how do you get our SWAG?

Step 1: Find one of us, you will know who we are, trust me.
Step 2: Say hello and that you dig our concept.
Step 3: Receive your very own G. W. C. - Gift With Compliment, courtesy of The Pen and Ink Blog.

Can’t make the conference? 

No worries, not only will we post “The Making of….. Part 2”, but you will be able to secure goodies online. 

A word of caution- our concept is not for the weak of pen so be prepared to be….
(Well, I’m not going to tell you because then you would know.)

See you Saturday at the pool and bring your pajamas!

The One That Didn't Win

This short piece was my entry for the 2011 SCBWI Conference Tuition Content. The word prompt was "cinnamon."

Read what people are saying about it:

"Perverse piece."
- Morality Monthly

"Burn Witch! Burn!"
- General Witch-Finder Daily

"Smut, smut, smut. Clearly the author is a danger to teens everywhere."
- National PTA Quarterly

"May the author burn in the Everlasting Fires of Hell for using the Lord's name in vain."
- The Apostate Review

Room 104 at the Reno Deluxe Inn 

by Lupe Fernandez

My t-shirt smells of tangy sweat. I walk bare foot and recheck the bolted hotel door; adjust the curtains, and turn her Bible face down. The air conditioner drones. Behind the bathroom door, she brushes her hair, rubs lotion on herself and sings “Oh happy day/when Jesus walked.” I slip under the bed covers and take my pants off. What if she notices my giant nose pimple and changes her mind? What should I touch on her first? I never learned that in AP Biology. Pulling my pants over my bony legs, I roll out of bed and smooth the sheets. My belly grumbles. I had no appetite when the jazz band went to McDonalds for dinner. The bathroom door opens. Before she clicks off the light, I see her slim, naked body through her dressing gown. 

“Pray with me,” she says. 

We kneel in front of the bed and hold hands. She smells of cinnamon.

“Ms. Castle,” I confess to her, “I don’t how.”

“Do you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?”

“Yes,” I say.

She thanks Him for “delivering the angel of conception” – me. We climb into bed and Ms. Castle hikes up her gown.

Afterward: I'd like to say that no cinnamon was abused during the writing of this short piece.

Sketches
I attended last month's SCBWI Tri-Regions of Southern California Schmooze: Westside Writers' Schmooze takes on Misfits, Mutts & Bastards 

I was inspired to sketch Room 104 at the Reno Deluxe Inn as a graphic novel.

Ext. Hotel Hallway

Int. Hotel Room - Castle sets mood.

Int. Hotel Room - Teen looks in refrigerator.

Int. Bathroom - Castle gets ready. 

Int. Hotel Room - Teen sits on bed.

Int. Hotel Room - Teen taps feet and turns over Bible.

Int. Hotel Room - Teen and Castle pray.

Int. Hotel Room - Teen and Castle get into bed.

I hate to brag, but I'm no Frank Miller. I'm not even a Miller Lite.

After Afterward: The pen that drew these sketches has been retired.

Edited by K. Kahrs

Author Event at Flintridge Books Pen And Ink Was There!

Last Sunday, bookstore owner extraordinaire, Catherine Linka, invited 11 authors to a Mother/Daughter/ Authors Book party at Flintridge Bookstore; the event was co-sponsored by LA Parent Magazine.

C. Linka with S. Berger

 The stellar roll call:

Gayle Brandeis -My Life With The Lincolns

Carolyn Hennesy- Pandora Series 

Carol Hughes - The Princess and the Unicorn

Kathleen O'Dell - Agnes Parker Series

Naomi Hirahara - 1001 Cranes

Randi Barrow - Saving Zasha

Sherri Smith - Flygirl

Amy Goldman Koss – The Girls

Margaret Stohl - Beautiful Creatures

 

Morgan Matson - Amy & Roger's Epic Detour

Cecil Castelucci - Beige

The authors met and spoke with 3rd through 9th grade girls and their mothers. The girls were rotated from table to table so that everyone had a change to speak with all the authors.

Pen & Ink spoke to the authors, asking the questions that only Pen & Ink dares to ask. Stay tuned to this blog as Pen & Ink will feature exciting interviews with the authors.

So RUN! Don't walk to Flintridge Bookstore and buy these books.

Also see Out of the Paintbox for more exciting coverage 

Trick or Retreat

by
Lupe Fernandez

Last month, I attended the SCBWI Writers Retreat in Palos Verdes. Inspired by the dedication of the staff and attendees, the Planning Dept. of Pen & Ink submit for your consideration a modest proposal. Sure, you got your Esalen, Big Sur, Rocky Flats, Edwards Air Force Base and any number of Superfund sites, but you've never seen a retreat such as:

The Official Pen & Ink Writers Retreat Complex

1) Critique Rooms - Padded walls, ergonomic chairs, and big clock with timer; separate offices for Resident editors, agents and therapists

2) Communal Dorms - Married personnel only

3) Critique Rooms - Padded walls, ergonomic chairs, and big clock with timer; separate offices for Resident editors, agents and therapists

4) Communal Dorms - Single personnel

5) Ocean Beach - White Sand; Activity Director on station to cater to all aquatic needs

6) Mental Health Center – Physical Therapy, 24 Hour Doctor, Primal Scream Enclosure, Yoga Discipline, Private Massage Bays, and 24 Hour pharmacy

7) Bike and Jogging Path - Clockwise on even days, Counterclockwise on odd days

8) Information Center – Laptops with Internet access, high volume color and b/w printers; only this location allows outside electronic contact

9) Amphitheatre -Live performances, readings

10) Fruit Trees – Fresh snacks ripe for picking

11) Tower Scrambler – Jams all radio transmission for all cell phones, laptops, Crackberries, telegraphs and passenger pigeons

12) Helicopter Pad - Transportation for personnel who don't like the submarine

13) Submarine Grotto - Access to complex via submersible

14) Forest and Hiking Trails – Get away from everyone and mediate or fight bears

Registration begins as soon as the Planning Dept. inherits several million dollars to bribe public functionaries for construction permits, right-of-way access, misplacement of property titles, and the suspension of certain UNESCO World Heritage Designations.

How NOT to Approach an Agent

by Lupe Fernandez

At the 2010 SCBWI Summer Conference, Ginger Clark, literary agent for Curtis Brown LTD, spoke at a breakout session entitled "How to Approach Agents Without Scaring Them Off." This blogger enjoyed the session. I am grateful for Ms. Clark's time. Here are some tips:

• Don't follow an agent into the bathroom.
• Don't follow an agent into the pool.
• Don't follow an agent to the gym, especially if the agent is working out with another agent, and pitch your project.
• If an agent is at a bar and engaged in conversation with another person, do not approach the agent and pitch your project.

Ms. Clark also recounted other horror stories:

After a long conference, an editor returned to her hotel room, entered her bedroom and found on her pillow - a query letter. Can you say creepy?

An agent entered a bathroom stall and commenced her business. To her horror, someone slid a manuscript under the stall door.

A surgeon visited a patient being prepped for an operation. Upon learning the the patient was a literary agent, the surgeon asked if he could pitch his book to her. The agent replied, "you're the one with the scalpel, you can do whatever you want."

After recounting these episodes, Ms. Clark addressed the assembled group and said, "I'm sure none of you would do that."

Not me, says I.

Well...almost. In the interests of disclosure, this blogger did follow a certain publisher into the Mens' Room at the conference. However, I knew the publisher from a previous function and, as he is a busy fellow, I retreated post-haste from the urological premises upon seeing the publisher approach a designated respository area.

Answers To First Lines

by
Susan Berger
These are the answers to the first lines from the SCBWI Writer’s Day held on Saturday April 10, 2010.

1. The morning after the noted child prodigy Colin Singleton graduated from high school and got dumped for the nineteenth time by a girl named Katherine, he took a bath.

An Abundance of Katherines by John Green

2. I sold my cell phone to the devil. In my defense it had been a really crappy day

Georgeous by Rachel Vail

(This was an excellent read.)

3. “Where oh where…”wondered Ophie Peeler, looking around her big almost empty bedroom, “did mom

Ophie Out of Oz by Kathleen O’Dell

(I bought this one at the conference because of the title and the first line. It is one of my new favorite books)

4. JUNE 21, 1895 Bombay, India. “Please tell me that’s not going to be part of my birthday dinner this evening.” I am staring into the hissing face of a cobra. A surprisingly pink tongue slithers in and out of a cruel mouth while an Indian man whose eyes are the blue of blindness inclines his head toward my mother and explains in Hindi that cobras make very good eating.

A Great and Terrible Beauty by Libba Bray

(This was Libba’s first book. I already blogged the the first line from Going Bovine. She is a wonderful speaker as well as a wonderful writer.)

5. Miguelito wiggled and jiggled his loose tooth until one night it fell out. “Yay! Mi dente my tooth,” he said and put it under his pillow. Soon Miguelito fell asleep.

The Tooth Fairy Meets El Raton Perez by Rene Colato Lainez Illustrated by Tom Lintern

6. In a House on a hill there’s a wild little child not ready to close her eyes. She burrows in blankets and talks to her toys and listens to lullabies.

Hillside Lullaby by Hope Vestergaard Illustrated by Margie Moore

7. Many places make a home – a heap of twigs, a honeycomb. A castle with a tower or two, an aerie with a birds-eye view.

Castles Caves and Honeycombs by Linda Ashman Illustrated by Lauren Stringer

8. See the piggy, see the puddle, see the piggy in the middle of the muddy little puddle. See her dwaddle, see Her diddle, in the muddy muddy middle. See her waddle, plump and little, in the very merry middle. The Piggy in the Puddle by Charlotte Pomerantz Illustrated by James Marshall

9. In a wee little house in a wee little hole, lived a wee little mouse and a wee little mole.

One Dark Night by Lisa Wheeler Illustrated by Ivan Bated.

(This was Lisa Wheeler’s first book. She has written many wonderful books. I wanted to blog the first line of the first one.)

10. In a tree, in a nest, on a gusty spring morn, a speckled egg cracked, and aa small bird was born.

What’s the Magic Word by Kelly DiPucchio illustrated by Marsha Winborn

(This was Kelly’s first book)

Here are Ten more first lines to titillate your palate (Guess what I’ve been reading lately).

1. Every smiley moon without fail Claire dreamed of her childhood.

2. “Go away!” Brianna yelled. “No! I wanna play too!” Julianne cried.

3. It’s not so bad being dead. People generally tend to ignore you.

4. Do you know what it says on a tube of toothpaste? In small print? You have to read the small print because they never tell you anything scary in large print. Large print is what they want you to see.

5. In the middle of nowhere along a quiet stretch of road the diner dreamt of the hungry dead.

6. The principal crooked his finger at me. “Come to my office,” he said. I almost choked. Please let it be something horrendous I’ve done, I prayed Just don’t let it be…But deep inside I already knew. It was my mom. She’d done it again.

7. When we were little, My best friend Jake and I saw eye to eye. Then I grew and he didn’t.

8. My so-called parents hate my boyfriend Shrimp.

9. When Bee woke up, there was a girl standing in her room. “you are me,” the girl said. Then she was gone.

10. Olivia Kidney’s new home was an apartment building made of maroon and yellow bricks on New York City’s Upper West Side. It was twenty stories high and it contained some of the most awful people you’d ever want to meet.

Ten First Lines

by Susan Berger

These first lines come from the SCBWI Writer’s Day held on Saturday April 10, 2010. Some are examples given by the speakers. Some were available to sale and/or perusal at the event.

1. The morning after the noted child prodigy Colin Singleton graduated from high school and got dumped for the nineteenth time by a girl named Katherine, he took a bath.

2. I sold my cell phone to the devil. In my defense it had been a really crappy day.
(I immediately went to the library and checked out this book.)

3. “Where oh where…”wondered Ophie Peeler, looking around her big almost empty bedroom, “did mom

4. JUNE 21, 1895 Bombay, India. “Please tell me that’s not going to be part of my birthday dinner this evening.” I am staring into the hissing face of a cobra. A surprisingly pink tongue slithers in and out of a cruel mouth while an Indian man whose eyes are the blue of blindness inclines his head toward my mother and explains in Hindi that cobras make very good eating.

5. Miguelito wiggled and jiggled his loose tooth until one night it fell out. “Yay! Mi dente my tooth,” he said and put it under his pillow. Soon Miguelito fell asleep.

6. In a House on a hill there’s a wild little child not ready to close her eyes. She burrows in blankets and talks to her toys and listens to lullabies.

7. Many places make a home – a heap of twigs, a honeycomb. A castle with a tower or two, an aerie with a birds-eye view.

8. See the piggy, see the puddle, see the piggy in the middle of the muddy little puddle. See her dwaddle, see Her diddle, in the muddy muddy middle. See her waddle, plump and little, in the very merry middle.

9. In a wee little house in a wee little hole, lived a wee little mouse and a wee little mole.

10. In a tree, in a nest, on a gusty spring morn, a speckled egg cracked, and a small bird was born.

NOTES ON WRITER'S DAY or SCBWI Literary Pep Rally

by Lupe Fernandez

Clairbourn School looks like a country club. Manicured lawns freshly mowed by Mexican landscapers. Neat, trim peaked roof houses. Children’s toys in their places and no graffiti. I notice the white pillars and porticos.

I sit in the “Den of the Cougars” otherwise known as the gym. Yellow and blue flags hang from the walls celebrating league champions for Single Tennis, Boys Soccer, Girls Volleyball and other sports. I’m here for the competitive sport of writing, publishing and selling.

Overhear someone say, “This place looks like a southern plantation.”

The room fills with a babble of voices. Hundreds of words mingle; merge to form greetings, life experiences, writing projects. A laugh. The quest for the proper chair to sit in. Who’s here? Who’s not? Didn’t we meet at….? Aren’t you a friend of …?

News flash: No more coffee!

The day begins with “bathroom announcements.” Toilet paper shortage in nearby bathrooms, more toilet paper in the bathrooms further away.

Rachel Abrams, assistant editor at HarperCollins Children’s Books topic is “This Book Needs to Be Read! Honing Your Craft and Writing Your Best.” She reads from three favorite books as examples of how to start a story.

Abundance of Catherine by John Green.
Gorgeous by Rachel Vail
The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman. Another favorite book is Walk Two Moons by Sharon Creech.

Ms. Abrams answers a question about voice in historical fiction: Adolescent issues are the same regardless of the time period. Another question inquires about bodily functions? “Okay as long as they’re plot driven,” she answers. She outlines pitfalls in writing dialogue:

There’s information dumps.
Chatty or on the nose gabbing.
Adverbial speech tags – Adverbs in dialog tags are editors’ pet peeve.

Ms. Abrams focuses on characters, plot is secondary. Middle Grade/Tween – ages 8 to 12. Teen 12 and up. Represents Middle Grade and YA, preferring paranormal and teen romances.

When she cites other favorite authors, the name sound like a litany of saints, accompanied by ooohs and aaahs, murmurs of acknowledgement. “That’s a good book.” “I read that one.” Or furious scribbling on notepads or typing on laptops.

Discussing styles, Ms. Abrams cites Vladimir Nabokov, "In reading, one should notice and fondle the details.” She recommends finding an agent. Responding to a question about personal editorial “pet peeves,” she says, “I won’t have a job if you guys didn’t need editors.”

Break 10 a.m.

Now begins the Information Age ritual of checking cell phones, blackberries, blueberries, crackberries and strawberries for messages, emails, gmails, tweets, sweets, sheets, cleats and a better seat.
After speaking, Ms. Abrams waits at the head of a receiving line. Writers are eager for her blessing, her business card, a comment, an encouragement, a smile for that great story.

10:34 a.m. Call to Order and Take Your Seats.

Lisa Wheeler, picture book author, topic is Rhyme with Reason. She candidly admits to receiving 2,500 rejections in four years. Friends call her “the Meter Maid.”
“Just because kids like rhyme,” she says, “is not a good reason to write in rhyme.”
Ms. Wheeler encourages picture books writers to “defend their rhyme.” As a child, she ran into the living room when TV commercials played so she could listen to the jingle. After the commercial ended, Wheeler left the room. The word seven is a bad rhyming word. Bad rhyme doesn’t sell. “Rhyme is poetry – not just rhyming end lines.”

Break. 11:30 a.m. Announcements. Raffle. My raffle ticket number is 429045. Come on lucky 45!Curses! I don’t win.  Lunch 12 p.m. Sun appears. Morning overcast broken. San Gabriel Mountains visible to the north.

Overhear someone say, “I’m a light airy person.”

After a nap on the gym bleachers, I open my eyes amid the crowd, noisy gym.

Jill Corcoran, an agent with the Herman Agency, speaks on “Queries & Synopsis: How to Get Agents & Editors Salivating to Read Your Manuscript.”



Among the sentences not to include in a query letter:

“I am a new writer.”
“This is the first book in my 9 book series.”
“Hope you and everyone around you are doing well.”

Ms. Corcoran wants to know why the author wants her as an agent. “You gotta know what sells you.”
She emphasizes vigilance on your internet presence. Don’t post anything that could harm your career. I guess I’d better take down my Lion Tamer Website.
Kathleen O’Dell, Middle Grade author, speaks on “Crafting Books for Restless Middle Grade Readers.” “Don’t be afraid to quit,” Ms. O’Dell says, “You’ll come back if it calls you.” The editing process “is not for babies. The author must earn the trust of middle grade readers. “Bordom is death for kids.”

Overhear someone say, “You know her, she’s on Facebook.”

In regards to a lengthy manuscript, she once used the “Harry Potter Defense.” An editor said her manuscript was too long. Kids wouldn’t read it. Ms. O’Dell responded, “What about Harry Potter?” Needless to say, the “Harry Potter Defense” is spoken no more. Talking about the writing process, she says, “It’s a temptation for writers to be lazy.” There’s bitterness at being rejected and fear at revision when receiving an envelope from an editor.

The last speaker is Young Adult author Libba Bray. Ms. Bray tells a story about receiving knowing glances and flirtations from firemen when she told them that she wrote “young adult fiction.” Ms. Bray realizes the fireman thought she wrote Adult as in X-rated. “Writing porn is more socially acceptable than writing for teens.”







Ms. Bray lists her advice on writing.

1. No one ever died from a day of bad writing, except writing a safety manual.
2. Name you inner critique.
3. If it doesn’t scare you to at least write your story, you haven’t raised the stakes.
4. Read. Read across genres.
5. Don’t write Cherrios – not exciting, just filler, unsatisfying, soggy, forgettable.
6. Remember. Write for your inner teen. Remember the emotional language of 10, 14, 16.
7. Find your own voice and honor it. “You know who does the best Raymond Carver? Raymond Carver.”
8. Change up your game - as long as it serves your story. Don’t get complacent.
9. As a Public Service Announcement, Ms. Bray urges us, “Just say no to the hot pterodactyl boyfriend.” Avoid current trends.
10. Earn your moments. Truth should make us uncomfortable. Don’t flinch. Don’t give characters qualities they don’t have.

 Her talk was inspirational.

A green cart sits in the back of the gym, stacked with musty dark brown Christian Science Hymnal books. Perhaps we should start this day with a song. “O’ Publisher Near to Thee,” or “Holy Trinity”? (The Trinity is Agent/Editor/Publisher – until a media paradigm shift.)
I recline on the hard worn bleachers, ready to cheer. “Go Writers Go! Query Back! Query Back! Way, way back! Goooo Unpublished Writers! Yeah!”

A pep rally, indeed.

“Stories survive,” Ms. Bray says.

Time to go home and write.