Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Don't Read This Blog! Stop! Go No Further!

Too late...
Who is this person?

Through nefarious means at our disposal, we secured an interview with a person claiming to be Pseudonymous Bosch, Author of The Secret Series.
The Name of This Book Is Secret (2007)
If You're Reading This, It's Too Late (2008)
This Book Is Not Good for You (2009)
This Isn't What It Looks Like (2010)
You Have To Stop This (2011)

Dear Agent Bosch,
Thanks for answering a few Confidential, Top-Secret, Confidential, For Your Eyes Only, Authorized Personnel Only questions.

Don't Read This
What is the origin of the title The Name of This Book Is Secret? 
(Can you tell the story of W.P. May?) 
Can you keep a secret? The secret story is that I started writing the book in installments through the mail as part of a volunteer program called Writing Partners (a program where 4th and 5th grade students were paired with adults outside their school, as pen pals of a sort). I wanted to write a book for my writing partner but I couldn't think of a title. Then I thought, maybe that's because The Name of this Book is Secret! The rest is secret history...

Did the Secret Series begin as a Terces Society plan or a single book deal?
Not a Terces Society plan, certainly--they want to keep the Secret secret! Perhaps a Midnight Sun plan--they are the villains trying to get hold of the Secret and exploit it for their nefarious purposes. Sometimes, I fear I am their unwitting pawn, revealing vital information to the wrong people despite my best intentions...

What kind of responses do you get from your fans, enemies and spies?
From my fans, I get angry and threatening letters demanding to know the Secret. From enemies and spies, I get suspiciously flattering letters demanding the same thing.

Pay Attention
A writer claiming to be the REAL pseudonymous bosch stated that he was a screenwriter. What other talents in your background assist with your writing?
 Juggling and mustache twirling. As a children's book writer, you need to resort to all sorts of tricks to entertain your audience. 

In Chapter One of The Name of This Book Is Secret, you wrote, “Xxxx xxxx x xxx...xxx. Xxx.” Does this mean, “Xxxx xxx x x xxxxx. Xx xxx xx xxxx xx” or “Xxxxxxx-xx, xxx xxxxx xxx xxx; Xxxx ‘Xxx X Xxxx!’? 
The former, of course! 

By speaking directly to the reader and including activities in the appendices, your books break the fourth wall. Is this to encourage reader participation or to spy on them? 
Both. Seriously, while some adults find breaking the fourth wall to be irritating and affected (unless that's just their way of teasing me!), in my experience younger readers feel challenged and engaged when they are spoken to directly. This is the aspect of my books they most often site as their favorite. I suppose I am appealing to their narcissism. 

The author (spy) uses words (sight) to evoke the senses of sound, smell, touch and taste. Would you agree that writing fiction is similar to synesthesia? 
Yes, in the sense that the writer is always feeling his way in the dark. We are senseless creatures trying to create worlds out of insensible materials. This leads to much confusion--of the senses and of everything else. 

I had a question about Chapter 26, but I forgot about it to be safe. Do you remember my question? 
Yes, but I won't answer it until we're alone. 

Thanks for your questions-- I think. I only hope they do not represent another plot to get me to reveal the Secret. Please share my answers with no one--or almost no one.

Secretly yours, PB
The Management accepts no responsibility for personal injury, loss of chocolate or stolen cheese due to reading this interview. Should mysterious persons confiscate your blog, we can only say is We told you not to read this interview.

For more obfuscation, visit The Name of This Website is Secret.
Images and Video Courtesy of Person Claiming to be Pseudonymous Bosch


  1. Is Pseudonymous Bosch, related to my dishwasher's family? Well, I've been secretly hanging out with Pseudononymous' home boys Monogamous and Monotonous Bosch for some years now but thats been secret, too. Guess the cat's out of the bag. Aw, sh*t! I forgot their spy missions, of course.


  2. Dear Alison, (if that's really your name)
    My confidential sources tell me the real identify of Agent Bosch is...is... ack gaspppp.............

  3. Ok Now I have to stop my other book and read this one. (the one that's secret.) Great post. Thank you.

  4. Very clever book marketing strategy!

  5. Karen - Assuming the person interviewed is the actual Pseudonymous Bosch and not part of a disinformation campaign to protect THE SECRET.

  6. Oh look a secret... I wonder if they gave it to the libraries? Muahahahaha.

  7. What a clever book and post! Certainly intriguing and, human nature being what it is, sure to make people want to read it.

  8. Dianna - The Terces Society have infiltrated libraries to keep the SECRET.

    Connie - People shouldn't read these books. It's too dangerous. In fact, forget you ever read this blog.

    John Doe

  9. Pen & Ink won't get away with such subterfuge! I'm determined to decode this interview for the sake of all readers.

  10. Megan,
    It will happen this way. A car will pull up. The door will open and someone you trust will invite you inside.
    Heh, heh, heh...
    H. Heh

  11. Psuedonymous Bosch would never tell anyone the SECRET. Good thing too.

  12. None of you have figered it out yet, have you? Psuedonymous Bosch is MAX-EARNEST!!! Oops.

  13. Dear Anonymous,
    I fear that as I write, sinister forces are converging on your location to spirit you away.
    I Told You So

  14. i absolutely love this series and personally i would not care if pseudonymous bosch ever told the world what his real identity but i will NOT stop reading the books, period

  15. Dear Anonymous,
    We know who you are. We know what you've done.
    Surrender now. Resist is futile.


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