Monday, June 6, 2011

Buzz and Me

By: Kris Kahrs
(Notice: no adjectives or adverbs were injured during the writing of this post.)

I dropped off my son at school and drove to the supermarket to begin the day’s errands.

“To infinity and beyond,” said a voice in the backseat. It turns out my mother-in-law was right when she said an AED defibrillator would come in handy in the car. My son had left his Buzz Lightyear toy in a predisposing position. Every bump in the road pushed the talk button.

I tried to ignore Buzz, but he was determined to start a conversation. “Be alert. Adventure can come from any direction.”

When I talked to my husband on the phone, he asked, “who’s with you?”

“No one, I’m alone.”

“Whose voice do I hear in the background?”

“Buzz Lightyear. He’s turning out to be a regular ‘Chatty Cathy’.”

“All right Ranger,” chirped Buzz from the backseat, “which direction should we go.”

“O.k. then,” said my hubby hanging up.

At every stop, I would forget to reach into the backseat to turn Buzz over and give us both some peace.

I threw the library books on the back seat and checked my list of things to do. “Mmmm, interesting,” he said, “We’d better take a closer look at this.”

It was inevitable that I began to answer him. “We don’t have time to look at the books now, Buzz. I’ve only got a half hour to get the errands done. Then I have to get home, finish edits for this week’s rewrites, write a blog post, tweet, do a couple Facebook entries and send out at least one publisher query.”

“To infinity and beyond!”

“Yes, it feels like that, but I admire your spunk.”

I wrapped up the errands and returned home, carrying groceries, books, jackets and Buzz into the general destruction that is known on my tax forms as my place of residence. At this point, Buzz got a little judgmental announcing, “Looks like Zurg was here.”

“Oh yeah and your space-ranger-dude bachelor pad is a temple,” I snorted doubtfully.

I sat down at my dining room-table-cum-desk, laid Buzz next to my laptop and set to work. After a quarter hour’s worth of the brain-wave patterns of a cat watching Oprah and no ideas forthcoming, I gave in and decided to ask Buzz for help. I figured he couldn’t be that much different from the I-Ching, or a Magic 8-Ball for that matter, the vocabulary was just as limited.

“Buzz,” I said, “I’m not sure where I’m going with this character. What do you think?”

“Be alert. Adventure can come from any direction.”

I took this to mean that I needed to stay open to the universe. But I needed more detail so I gave it one last effort. “Buzz, where exactly should I go with my main character?”

“To infinity and beyond.” Close enough. I got on with it.

Editor: L. Fernandez 


  1. Than you Kris and Buzz. Excellent advice. I'm off to be alert for adventure.

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  3. My sunshade talks to me from the backseat. Should I worry?
    Front Seat Driver

  4. Hi Sue--

    Buzz is a man of few words, but he makes every one count.

  5. Hi Heather--

    I'm so glad you liked it. Thanks for stopping by the Pen and Ink blog!

  6. Janet--Thanks for taking the time to read my post. We're so glad you enjoyed it. We have a special promotion going on: for every post you read on The Pen & Ink Blog, my 20-lb. cat, Sammy will sit on your lap and let you pet him for 2 minutes!

  7. Front Seat Driver--I would only start to worry if your headrest starts humming the "Girl from Ipanema". Then take two mojitos and call me in the morning. And remember, "Don't Drink and Blog".

  8. LOL!

    Funny stuff. I'm dating myself here, but I had to contend with a talking Barney with my youngest.
    And then there was the time his "talking fish" on his bedroom wall started up and wouldn't stop. Thought I was going to have to fillet it.

  9. Gotta love that Buzz! Enjoyed this tremendously. My husband and I once heard a voice in our car. After checking the radio, cell phones, and each other, we were non plussed. Just when I was about to say: "speak Lord, your servant is listening"(LOL) , we found the GPS under the seat! It had gotten switched on in some way, and was giving directions.

  10. Forgot to say, I'm a newbie blogger, and your latest follower. Stop by sometime and say hi!

  11. ...sorry..trying to follow, but it seems blogger's follwers link is down . Will do as soon as it appears again

  12. Hi Bryce--Welcome to P&I. Reader/Writers are always welcome! Enjoy!

  13. Hi Christine--So glad to have another follower! We'll check on that pesky blogger link to check and make sure it's working. Lupe knows how to get tough with the tech stuff!

  14. Hahaha! Buzz is such an intriguing character.

  15. Hi Megan-- He certainly keeps me on my toes. Thanks for stopping by our little parcel of prose!

  16. I need to dig out Buzz from the toy box. He's offering up a goldmine of advice. Cute post, Kris!

  17. Lori--If the refrigerator starts talking--I'm outta here.


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