Monday, September 26, 2016

Dispatch #57: Why This Post is Late

by Lupe Fernandez

Ten Reasons for Not Writing a Blog Post (or anything else)

1. Get pajamas for cat.

2. Read a book. 

3. Process Italy vacation photos.

4. Search Internet for funny images to accompany this post.

5. Work on manuscript submission due for critique group.
6. Watch clips of favorite movies on YouTube.

7. Go to grocery store.

8. Clean up my office.

9. Run up and down the stairs for ten minutes.

10. Play solitaire on iPhone.

Management Rebuttal
  1. No self-respecting cat wears pajamas.
  2. The back of a Snickers bar does not count as reading material.
  3. This photo could be from anywhere.
  4. Random internet searches does not classify as research.
  5. We're surprised you included manuscript submission, an act requiring writing.
  6. Good luck with the glare in the middle of the image and the distorted audio.
  7. Why didn't you go grocery shopping yesterday?
  8. Clean office? Hahahahahahahahaha!
  9. How about exercising your fingers with writing?
  10. You need a black jack on the red queen.