Saturday, July 30, 2011

I, President

Campaign Headquarters
by Lupe Fernandez

I Hereby declare my candidacy for the office of President of the United States. 

My administration will support the Longer Recess, Better Cafeteria Food Initiative. 

If elected I promise to create new cabinet posts: The Department of Conferences, The Department of Critique Groups and The Department of Promotion. 

I will set our foreign policy to promote Children’s Literature across reading-loving countries. The Air Force will drop pictures books into anti-picture book countries. The Navy will sail the seven and a half seas – the melting North Pole counts as half a sea – and leave a book in every port. The Army and Marines will conduct house to house searches of book shelves to make sure they’re stock with the classics. 

Middle Grade Constituent
On the domestic front, my administration will create the No Book Left Behind program. No more remainders, orphans or out-of-print. 

My administration will raise the minimum wage for struggling writers so that they can achieve the Great American Dream – hiring a baby sitter to have time to finish the manuscript. 

The first act of my administration will be to open a Children’s Literature Library in the White House with a café serving milk and cookies, and a nap area. 

But I need your help with the campaign. A strong slogan is needed to communicate to America my narrative of the future.

Read My Book: No New Adjectives
Where’s The Plot?
It’s Page 1 in America
America’s Business is The Publishing Business

Tippecanoe and Illustrations, Too!

I Like Series.

Remember My First Book

Give Me a Cover I Like, or Give Me Death!

Whip Split Infinitives Now!
If you have any slogan suggestions, let us know. This is about you, the Children’s Writers of America.

Patriotic Cookie
This post was paid for by Imaginary Citizens for the Election of The Mexican-In-Residence.


  1. Books We can Believe In

    I propose a New Deal, (Oh wait...That one's been used.)

    If You Write Them, They'll Be Read

  2. I'm running on the CCCP (Cookie Candy Cake and Play) party.

  3. I would definitely vote for you! I'll be the person in the "books for everyone" party.

  4. Jenna, Deb - Thank you for the support. I'd like to take this opportunity to address certain allegations that I once had the Cooties. Although I lived through the Great Cootie Outbreak of 73, I never, never and when I say never, I mean just a little bit, associated with persons known to have the cooties.
    Proud Library Card Holder

  5. How about expanding on Herbert Hoover's slogan - a chicken in every pot, a car in every garage ... and books on every shelf! I'd vote for you.

  6. Dear Connie,
    Here, here! A book in every pot. A library card in every garage.

  7. Yes, of course. Count on my vote. If everyone were off reading books, there would be no time for war. Now that's a subversive plot. Slogans, slogans...let's see. How about --New Pens for Old Swords. Yuck. Umm. OK. What of --Don't Worry, Read a Book. Awful. I give up. I'll just do the voting, isn't that enough already?

  8. Dear Rilla,
    Thanks for the support. As the Children's Literature candidate, my administration push the LRBCF Act through Congress.
    A Thousand Story-Telling at Night

    (LRBCF - Longer Recess Better Cafeteria Food)

  9. You have my vote, especially if I get one of those cookies.

  10. Dear Storied Cities,
    My campaign is endorsed by the CBCCC, Citizens for Better Chocolate Chip Cookies.


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