Thursday, May 6, 2010

Customer Support

by
Lupe Fernandez

What if writers had access to a customer support service? I imagine the choices would be as follows:

16 comments:

  1. Explicamelo mas the part about writing in Spanish. I've tried adding the ex-girlfriend thing to no avail. Sympathy, please (for my poor Spanish skills and writing travails).

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  2. Spanish is a language of magical realism, unrequited love and CIA plots to overthrow democratically elected governments in favor of dictatorships.

    Sincerely,
    Rebel Without a Date

    ReplyDelete
  3. If you like this posting, please say, "Yes."
    You said "Yes."
    Thank you for your patronage.
    Please come again.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Don't hang up! Please, are there more options?

    (This is hilarious. Thank you!)

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  5. I'm still laughing...wish it were this easy.

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  6. Thank you for choosing Pen & Ink.
    For more options, please remain on this site for the rest of your life.

    ReplyDelete
  7. This was awesome! Which one of you created this, or was it a joint production?
    thanks for sharing,
    Namaste,
    Lee

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  8. Dear Mr. Wind,

    The author of "Customer Support" post was that advocate of adverbs, that deviant of dialog, that stud of syntax, that man about town, Mr. Lupe Fernandez. He was inspired by a recent cable installation.

    Sincerely,
    The Management

    If you like this response, please press 7734 now.
    If you pressed 7734 turn your head upside down.
    Thank you for patronizing this service.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Amazing service. You covered everything!

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  10. Dear Customer Megan,

    We aim to please.

    Sincerely,
    Customer Representative 37020

    ReplyDelete
  11. LOL! Lupe, you are the funniest ever!! And - it is so positive, true . . . and just plain funny.

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  12. Thank you Amy. Pen & Ink Representatives are standing by.

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  13. So who would answer the phone at the call center, I wonder. Would it be "Kevin Anderson?"

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  14. Dear Mr. Christopher,

    You are correct. Mr. Kevin Anderson from Salt Lake City, Utah, (despite his Indian accent, Mr. Anderson is not working from Bombay) would be at your service.

    Sincerely,
    The Management

    ReplyDelete

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