Mood Altering Words

by

Lupe Fernandez

Who doesn’t need a positive pick-me-up while practicing the craft of writing? I sure do. Here’s a few handy phrases guaranteed to turn that frown upside down.

Dark outside?

Don’t worry, the Sun still has five billion years before it expands to a red giant and burns the Earth.

Worried how long your book will last?

In a warm, moist landfill, paper will decompose in 2 or 3 weeks. In a dry climate, your book might last a thousand years.

Feeling ill?

The odds of being struck and killed by a meteorite are 1-in-600,000.

Not enough time in the day?

The planet Pluto – yes I’m from the Pluto is a Planet School of Thought, want to make a celestial case out of it? – takes 248 years to orbit the Sun. Plenty of time.

Stuck on character motivation?

The zonal geranium secretes a compound on its petals that paralyses Japanese Beetles when eaten. Light activated flavonoids or anacardic acids are not suspects.

Taking forever to get published?

The Paleoproterozoic Era, including the evolution of bacteria and eukaryotes, lasted 900 million years. That’s a long time.

 Worried about paying the bills?

According to the The Economist as of 11/24/2010, 12:16pm the world debt is $40,698,066,937,458…wait make that $40,698,068,137,600…no wait…the amount is …that number keeps getting higher.

Feeling better? I know I do.