Dispatch #33: What Is Love?

by Lupe Fernandez

What is love? Where does it come from and who's responsible?

Let's ask our panel of experts:

"Baaa...fsshhh...whoa..."
- Roselio, two months  

"Love is naps. Cookies. Playing with Mr. Teddy. Splashing in mud. Pulling out pumpkin brains at Halloween."
- Roselio, age 6

"I can't wait for Mrs. Masked Marvel to come on at two. I know how to tell time. I have Mrs. Masked Marvel figure and secret closet with lots of dresses.
- Nadia, age 7

 "Love? Bleech! Ya gotta me kiddin' me! Girls? Sheesh! They play stupid games and always laughing and doing stupid stuff like playing with dolls." 
- Jose, age 8

 "Girls? Gulp. Uhhhhhh...(swoon and faint)" 
- Calaveras Cal, estimated age 10

"You Know Who's the most beautiful girl in my class. When she looks at me, I hid behind a tree."
- Angel, age 11 

"This boy in my class leaves me love notes and candy Valentine hearts. He's always staring at me. What's wrong with him?"
- Georgina, age 11

"Love. That's what a boy says to get in your pants. He's all over you with his hands behind the gym and says, 'I love you so bad.' They're only good for getting cigarettes and beer."
- Marlene, age 14

"I can't stop thinking about her, man! I mean it ain't fair. It's like I ate a bad bag of Cheesy Crunchies and I can't get a dookie. Her green eyes. Her Russian accent. Oh man, I'm getting a Perestroika in my Pants."
- Roger, age 16

"He was everything. The present. The future. I don't care what people said about him. I wasn't forced. We were together. It was like my body felt every note ever heard. Every taste ever tasted. Filling me up. I saw outside myself. Other people's rules don't matter."
- Anhelica, age 16

"He's the heat of summer. The wrap of a blanket in winter. The crisp crunch of leaves ready to fall. He's fresh cut grass in spring. Yellow sunflowers kissing the sun. Ice cold glass against my hot forehead. Sweet red fruit juice running down my arms. He's sunset and promise of a new day."
- Violet, age 15

"I don't give it much thought. I suppose I'll get married some time after college. I would be suffice if my future husband as in the Aero-Corp like me."
- Julia, age 17

"It hurts my heart. I dig deep inside me when I think of her. What could have been. What should have been. I feel her lips taste mine. Memories of her are slow motion anguish that I can't be with her. When she touched my chest, God filled me up. She was the first person to make me feel needed. She waited for me in class. Her eyes lit up. I will always love her for that. Always."
- Roselio, age 18

Well, there you have it folks.

The experts have spoken.

What do you think?