Dispatch #2 - Reading on a River

Yuba River

by Lupe Fernandez

Yuba River - This is your foreign correspondent bringing you latest news from the wild north, where mountain lions roam and rushing rivers foam. Contrary to certain rumors begun by certain members of a certain blog that shall remain nameless, I was conducting a behavior study titled The Effects of Hydrodynamic Stimuli on Literary Comprehension, known in the civilian circles as reading on a river. But not just any river. Last August, right after the 2012 SCBWI Conference, I accompanied the Aguilera Family on their annual Yuba River camping trip. I proposed to test the effectiveness of reading a YA novel while surrounding by mountains, forests, river, and people having fun.

For my test material, after careful and assiduous consideration, I choose Pretty Little Liars by Sara Shepard. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Hey, Mr. Former Mexican-In-Residence and Part-Time Macho Man. Why are you reading about four rich teenage girls haunted by their secrets?"

Author Sara Shepard delivered a keynote address at the Summer Conference. She was humorous and insightful. So I bought the book and got her autograph. I asked her so many questions that her "minder" politely asked me to come back another time, as I was hogging her time. What important topic was I discussing with Ms. Shepard? Sex, of course.

Experimental Flotation Devices

Once at the Yuba River, I put the book into a water-proof Ziplock bag and paddled across the river, Ziplock baggie clamped between my teeth. A land ashore on a gravel bar, laid down a towel and commenced my behavior study.

Despite the splash and dash of the cold, roaring water, I accomplished my task of reading about Aria, Spencer, Emily and Hanna tormented by texts by the mysterious "-A." The author's voice had an eerie, but playful quality. According to Ms. Shepard, the TV series follows a different story line from the book, though the TV series works on the same premise.

Conducting Fluid Dynamic Test

While the test results of The Effects of Hydrodynamic Stimuli on Literary Comprehension were positive, I must conduct further studies to quantify my findings. I used to read in my apartment, but since my new posting at the Foreign Service Bureau, I have had to find other locations to read.

How about you, dear reader? Where do you crack open a book and turn the pages? Some dark, dank dreary local? Some bright, cheerful enclave? Where do you read? Maybe someone is watching.

As the mysterious "-A" texts the four Pretty Little Liars, "I'm still here, bitches. And I know everything."

This is your Foreign Correspondent signing off from the Northern Hinderlands.