First Paragraphs with Links to the Books

By Susan Berger

These are the answers for the First Paragraphs posted on November 5^th.

Both the pictures and the titles link to the books on Amazon.  The names of the authors and illustrators are linked to their websites. (Phew! A very Linky post.) I hope these  first paragraphs inspire you to read some of them.

1. Frannie James often dreamed about her missing mother. Nothing warm or fuzzy, of course, more like reruns of a half forgotten TV series. It was happening again. Her hands clenched as she slept. Would Mom smile? Just one loving smile….Please

The Revenge of Thelma Hill by Margot Finke

I really enjoyed this young teen ghost mystery. Margot is the author of several picture books. This is her second mid grade book. She also gives wonderful writing advice.

2. “Hurry Zachary, bring me a diaper,” cried Mom. 
    “In a minute Mom. I’m feeding the bird,” said Zachary.
     “I need it right now,” Mom yelled.

  

ShSh Sh Let the Baby Sleep by Kathy Stemke. Illustrated by Jack Foster.

Sh Sh Sh Let the Baby Sleep was awarded a silver medal in the 2012 Literary Classics awards. Kathy has included several games to play at the end and I love Jack Foster's illustrations.

3. You need something?

I can get it for you.

You have a problem?

I can solve it.

That’s why they come to me. By “they” I mean every kid in the school. First Graders up to eighth graders. Everyone comes to me for help and most of the time I’m happy to provide it. For a small fee of course.

TheFourth Stall by Chris Rylander. 

Winner of the 2012 Sid Fleischman Award for Humor. Chris spoke at the 2012 SCBWI Summer Conference and he is as funny in real life as he is in this book. Great boy middle grade read. The sequel will be out soon.

4. I am lucky my sister is my best friend.

We do everything together.

Tengo suerte de que mi hermana sea mi    mejor amiga.Hacemos todas las cosas juntas.    

                           

J’ai de la chance parce que ma sœur est  ma meilleure amie.On fait tout ensemble.

 My Sister Is My Best Friend by Nicole Weaver. A trilingual story. Illustrated by Clara Batton Smith.
This book received a Special Category award from the 2012 literary classics I love the trilingual format and had fun comparing and contrasting the sentences.

5.   The movement of the train rocked me like a lullaby I closed my eyes to the dusty countryside and imagined the sign I knew only from stories. The one just outside of town with the big blue letters: MANIFEST: A TOWN WITH A RICH PAST AND A BRIGHT FUTURE.

Moon over Manifest by Clare Vanderpool. This book does everything they tell us not to do as authors: It’s an historic novel told in several voices and in newspaper clips. It jumps back and for between 1917 and 1936 and it’s wonderful! It’s also the 2011 Newbery Winner

6. Logan
Logan didn’t have to open his eyes to know that morning had arrived. The sweet smell of cotton candy wafting into his room worked better than any alarm clock. He rolled over so his nose nearly touched the air vent.

 The Candy Makers by Wendy Maas.  My friend Caitlin Lovejoy, passed me this book and I can’t thank her enough. Wendy tells the same story from the POV of each of the four candy makers. The final chapters are told in third person as together they solve the mystery. I couldn’t put it down.

7. Natalie Isabelle Cailean Edwards bounded up the steps of Carver Middle School with a spring in her step and a welcoming smile on her face. She walked down the hall greeting her fellow eighth grade students. “Good morning, Cecil. How’s your dog recovering from his surgery?”


Save the Lemmings by Kai Strand I met Kai in Bend Oregon before she sold her first book, The Weaver. I bought a kindle copy of Save The Lemmings and devoured it. Fun read.

8. Jessica sat at the breakfast table of the grandparents’ beach house. She missed Mommy and Daddy. A tear dribbled down her cheek and fell into her cereal. “How long is a week, Grandma?” 

Fantastic Flight   by Barbara Bockman, illustrated by Jack Foster

This charming book is a gold medal recipient for preschool books in the 2012 literary classics.


 

10. “Isn’t it cool living by the beach?” Bella asked her best friend, Britt.

“Yeah,” agreed Britt. “There’s always a surprise.”

“Britt, look!” exclaimed Bella. “Here is a surprise. A sea turtle. They’re not usually on the beach in daylight.”

But there she was. A beautiful Loggerhead.

Sea Turtle Summer by Nancy Stewart. Illustrated by Samantha Bell.

Gold Award Recipient in the 2012 literary classics. I loved this story of the girls saving the turtles and Samantha Bell’s illustrations are a perfect complement to the words. Samantha illustrated my book GrowingUp Dreams and I am the proud owner of two of her lovely original drawings.

11. In the bright buzzing room

There was an iPad

And a kid playing Doom

And a screensaver of-

A bird launching over the moon

Goodnight iPad a Parody for  the next generation.
Written and illustrated by Ann Droyd (a pseudonym for David Milgrim.)

I saw this book at Barnes and Noble and bought two copies: One for me and one for my new granddaughter and her electronically obsessed father.  

Happy Thanksgiving to all. 
I am most thankful that this post is done.

The Dreaded First Paragraph

by Susan Berger

I know someone, perhaps at Writer’s Day, mentioned that they often completely rewrite the first chapter after they have read their manuscript in its entirety. The comment stuck in my head because I was still not satisfied with the first paragraph of Tasha, the Magnificent which is the mid grade novel I am working on. 

I rewrote Chapter One again last month and took the first five pages to the West Side Schmooze for middle grade critique night. I got some very helpful input but I still didn’t think I had the right place to start the story. 

I decided to format Tasha as an ePub and put it on my iPad. I thought this would force me to read the book as a reader. It worked. (I kept a pad next to me for short notes.)

My conclusion? Under the aegis of Pen and Ink, the book had become good, EXCEPT for the first chapter. However reading it as a reader made me see what I needed to do to fix it. I like my first paragraph much better now.

Here's what I have now. I think it give a better sense of who Tasha is.

“I don’t know. Karate’s not really my thing.” Tasha aimed the paper plane she’d made out of her math homework toward the lunch counter. It soared over three tables and dived bombed the meatloaf. “How bout you come to my house and I’ll show you my magic collection? I got Half Magic for my birthday.”

How do you like your current first paragraph?

For your entertainment and edification, here are ten first paragraphs.  Some from books that have won awards.

1. The statue has got to go. That's my first thought as I prep the living room for Dustin's visit later
tonight. I know I'm the only one who would notice the discriminating eyes of Mom's four-inch Jesus staring down from the mantle. Dustin probably wouldn't look away from my breasts if the room were two feet deep in holy water. Still, I reach for it.

 2. Benny Imura couldn’t hold a job so he took to killing.

It was the family business.  He barely liked his family-and by family he meant his older brother Tom-and he definitely didn’t like the idea of “business.” Or work.  The only part of the deal that sounded like it might be fun was the actual killing.

 

3.  Now I have to start lying.

While I stare through the windshield at the building my brother lives in. I try to think up a good lie, but nothing comes to mind.  “I was in the neighborhood”? Yeah.  Right.  It’s nineteen hours from Chicago to Albuquerque.  If you drive all night.  If you only stop for Mountain dews and KFC extra crispy.  By the way, KFC closes way too early in Oklahoma.

 4.  SIXTH SENSE

Sometimes I just know things.

Like when Lou asked me to go on that walk

Down by the reservoir last year

on the last day of eighth grade.

I knew he was going to say

He wanted to break up with me.

5.  There were only two kinds of people in our town.  “The stupid and the stuck,” my father had affectionately classified our neighbors.  “The ones who are bound to stay or too dumb to go.  Everyone else finds a way out.”  There was no question which one he was, but I’d never had the courage to ask why.  My father was a writer and we lived in Gaitlin, South Carolina because the Wates always had, since my great-great-great-great-grand-dad, Ellis Wate, fought and died on the other side of the Santee River during the Civil War. 

 6.  If Sarah hadn’t put the monkey in the bathtub, we might never have to help the monsters get big.  But she did, so we did, which given the way things worked out was probably just as well for everyone on the planet – especially the dead people.

 7.  My dad used to be Abraham Lincoln.  When I was six and learning to read, I saw his initials were A.B.E.  Albert Baruch Edelman.  ABE.  That’s when I knew.

 

8.  May 1, 1910 Seventeen days till the End of the World.

NEWS HEADLINE

Earth Will Pass Through Comet’s 24-Million-Mile-Long Tail on May 18

9.  A light breeze blew plumes of sand across the empty schoolyard.  On the other side of a low wall the flat desert stretched out against the horizon.  Over the course of the morning, the dark rectangle this side of the wall would shrink, and by recess would provide just enough shade for children like Akash who didn’t care to play cricket or run after a ball. From his seat by the open window Akash scanned the sky for signs of a rainstorm, for the swollen monsoon clouds that usually built up this time of year before they exploded with thunder and lightning to unleash sheets of rain.  But the breeze only dies and Akash resigned himself to another day of relentless heat.

10. Dusk creeps in and day is done.

      The last few rays of stubborn sun

      Cling to the hilltop, tree and town.

      We wish that we could push it down.

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